Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Postcards from Amerah

It's been awhile, I know. My fault, not hers. I can't remember just how long it's been since I talked to her, but she knows what I'm doing and she knows why and she's just waiting, patiently, as always, for me to gather my nerve and face what I need to and speak of it, to her. I'm doing what I always do, when I'm faced with the possibility of great devastating loss...I run...I refuse to acknowledge...I try to shroud myself in as much denial as I can find, even if I don't know if it's as bad as it could be. Even the smallest inkling of yet another devastating loss is just to much for me to bear. She's the closest female friend I have, after all. Tears are pouring down my face as I write this and it's silly because I don't even know! How stupid is that?

Anyway, that's my confession for the day. Here's the postcard.

"(The Writer: Me – some things I think about on the healing journey called life.)

I had an "aha" moment this morning. I started thinking about old friends...friends from back in the day...friends who would share their deepest secrets - the good, bad and the ugly with each other...and, because of different circumstances - a move, a marriage, a life style change, etc. lost touch with each other...friends you still call friends because of the “good old days"...friends I still love and miss.

My "aha" moment" was: just may be we stopped communicating because of "the good old days" because when we see each other’s old stuff is triggered (shame because of shenanigans/unhealthy behaviors); just may be we shy away from each other because we have changed - we become Christians, Muslims, Buddist, etc. and we my be thinking, because one of us may or may not have made a change, "...she knows to much about my good old days and she might be judging me."

To my dear friends from "the good old days", I ain't the one. When you "walk" back to "the good old days" if you would just look down you will see a third set of footprints, God and mine. You will see our new "running" buddies, Grace and Mercy! And, when you open your closet door, guess who have a couple of skeletons "standing" close to you - mine, my dear friend, MINE!

Today, my dear, dear friend, whatever skeletons that are lingering in the closet of the past - we have been forgiven - Jesus has paid the price. And when I see you...when we meet again, my love for you is steadfast, unmovable and abounds in my respect for you - I ain't the one to cast the first stone. I'm your "side-kick", your trusted friend, and your sister-friend in Christ. You my dear, dear friend is not a "season" on this journey called life with me...you are a life time friend. Thanks for the memories, my friend...the good...the bad...and the ugly - they made us who we are today - CHILDREN OF GOD!"


  1. See, you just made me have another aha moment. (sniff, sniff, sniff)...thanks for posting this for me. Love you much Lovely Lady...you are one of my special angels.

  2. P.S. I feel your courage as you named your truth, Sugar. And, nothing you do is stupid. We are truly sisters...you know the good the bad and the ugly yet you remain a constant in my life. Thanks for being MY FRIEND, friend! Loads of love and respect.

  3. :) at least now you know why i've been distant, there but distant. if you need me i'll always be there, you know that. thanks for understanding!