Me and the Boy and the Promise...

Maybe I've told this story before but I'm old and the older we get the more we repeat ourselves, so bear with me, it's worth repeating. Most people just look at me like they just don't get it when I tell this story, or they just think I've lost it, or that I'm making it up. I swear I'm not.

When the boy was born we had a brand new Toyota truck. How we came to have that truck is another story for another day. Just think, me, nine months pregnant, hour long bus ride home from work, sitting by a man with a coat on that smelled loudly of wet dog. It was pure insanity, mine, how we came to have that truck.

About a month later when I could see the ex was going to continue to drive it drunk and not work, I called up the bank and told them to come get it because we could not make the payments. They did.

This led to three and a half years of me being on foot with a newborn, another story. We made it. Finally I could stand it no longer and humbly asked my mother if she could help us get a vehicle. I wanted to go be a courier and could not do that without a vehicle. She did and I did, to make a long story short.

The boy, throughout his life, has had what I like to refer to as his "special" time of the year between Christmas and his birthday at the end of March. All is right with his world during this time. He learned how to walk, finally learned how to talk, was potty trained and so many other wonderful things during this time of year that are just too many to mention. Except this one that I will never forget. I will never forget anything about it.

Everyday when I would pick him up from daycare and when we would finally get off work (I would take him with me to finish up delivering the remaining packages for the day) sometimes we would just sit in the truck and talk before going in the house. I don't know why we did this but it was a special time for us with no distractions, just me and him.

Up until this time, aside from the old time spirituals I used to sing to him when he was a baby I had never spoken to him about God. I tried to teach him right from wrong, but this was not a particularly spiritual time in my life. Not that I didn't believe, just that I had too much else going on.

When I found out I was pregnant, I prayed and I made a promise. I promise My Lord that if He would just let me have this child I would make sure he had a childhood and I would keep him safe. I would make sure that he remained innocent and that no one on this earth would take his innocence from him before he was ready. He did and I now know that I did.

The past couple of days around here have been wonderful, heart-wrenching, sad, beautiful and just a various array of emotions that I just can't really do justice to. So this leads me back to that day in the truck.

We were just sitting there and my boy, out of the clear blue sky, says to me "Mom, you know I'm God's child don't you?" The entire world stood still for a very long time. I felt as if I was in a trance. There was no world outside of that truck. I looked over at that child and there was not one trace of anything evil or deceptive in that face. His eyes were big and round and as clear as I have ever seen. Yet, they had an earnestness to them, like God was speaking to me through my boy and I had to know one day I would lose my boy because one day the Lord was going to call him to work for Him. This time has come. It may not be today or tomorrow but it will be soon.

Two days ago the boy bounded into my room with that same look on his face and said, "Mom, I've finally figured out what I want to do with my life. I want to get my social work degree and go on to be a brother and go do God's work all around the world."

I just can not describe all the different waves of emotion that are washing over me right now, but I know it's true and it's the way it's supposed to be. Pray for me so that I will be able to let him go and not fold and for the boy so that he might find the proper direction he needs to lead him down this path.