Monday, October 20, 2008

Finally! Something else I can get on board with...

Since I know that you all l-l-l-o-o-o-v-e those StayFree commercials as much as I do I thought I'd repost this from Shameless Magazine:

"Dear manufacturers of Stayfree menstrual pads,

This is my first time in many years purchasing your product. I usually make use of The Keeper combined with washable, reusable pads for all my menstrual needs, but a recent travelling period (get it? LOL) necessitated the acquisition of a disposable product.

First of all, I’d like to say thanks for including an individually-wrapped Handi-Wipe with each pad. Although I am unlikely to let a chemical-soaked tissue within one hundred feet of my hoo-hoo, I found it useful for several other things, such as: removing a bicycle grease stain from my favourite pants, getting rid of unsightly shower buildup, and polishing my sterling silver.

Second, although the pads themselves were not advertised as “scented”, I couldn’t help but notice that you chose to give them, gratis, a rather noticeable aroma. I presume this is done in order to make my crotchal area more appealing, either to myself or a potential lover. However, I found the scent of the pads to be more reminiscent of a bowl of decaying potpourri or some kind of medication for sick babies than of a healthy vagina. If you insist on “improving” the natural odour of my area, here are a few suggestions for scents that I think will be much more appealing to women like me:

- Teriyaki Chicken
- Newly-Mown Hay
- Clive Owen
- Double Frappuccino (no whipped cream)
- Fish Taco

I hope you will give these suggestions their due diligence - you may have a whole new target market at your disposal! No pun intended!

Shamelessly yours, Anna"

My ex would have loved a double frappuccino scent :) I know, too much information...

Isn't Stayfree the maker of those "Have a Happy Period" insanities they call commercials? Don't even get me started...


  1. I have no idea about StayFree - I assume we either don't get it here or it's called something else but that made me giggle a lot so thanks :)

  2. This leaves me wondering what an artificially scented pad labeled Clive Owen might smell like! LMAO This was great!

  3. cb, it made me laugh out loud :)

    mary, i was wondering what "the keeper" was but didn't think i wanted to go in search of it...

  4. The keeper is gross. There are several other "brands" as well. Whoever wrote the letter just sounds like a hippy, not like someone who is truly concerned over the artificial scent of their pads. And oh please, try to get a teenage girl to wear homemade cloth pads, are you serious? They aren't for everyone. Never used the little "wipey" thing though. Seems like it would be too cold to get that close to my tender parts. Woohoo! Could you imagine?

    Oh and it's the Always brand that tells you to have a Happy Period. I think it must have been a man who came up with THAT slogan.