Thursday, October 23, 2008

Postcards from Amerah...

You guessed it, today is another Postcards from Amerah day. She's been on a roll lately :)

A Married Couple

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and
for being
loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you
each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world
with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets
for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very
romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years
younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a
wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband
became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards
should remember
fairies are female.....

Old Timer Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

McCain and Obama at the Barbershop

John McCain and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber
shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word
was spoken.

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would
turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had
McCain in his chair reached for the after shave.

McCain was quick to stop him saying, ' No thanks, my wife Cindy
will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse'.

The second barber turned to Barack and said 'how about you?'
Obama replied 'Go ahead, my wife, Michelle doesn't know what the inside
of a whorehouse smells like'.

Warning from the Government

In 2009 the government will start deporting
all of the weird old people.

I started crying when I thought of you.

Run, my friend, RUN !!!!

Well....what can I say....someone sent it to me! I'm not going alone.

I used to have this image

as my avatar all over the web, but then other people decided they liked it as much as I did so I think I will adopt the new one from Amerah above as my new has double-fisted coffee, I think he suits me better :)

Oh, and last but not least...

Online Tic Tac Toe

Remember the old game TIC TAC TOE we used to play when we were kids?Here it is on line now but you have to play against the computer. Turn the sound down, it's kinda


  1. These are class jokes!!!

    Electric fence... bwahahahahah!!!!!!

  2. I liked the barbershop one....hehe.

  3. kate, these days i'd probably have to have an electric fence to get me to move :)

    heather, the barbershop one was my favorite too :)