Postcards from Amerah...

LOL! I wish I'd thought of this :)

The Sweetness of Married Life


The newly weds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to
the wife, 'Honey I'm going to Hank's Tavern to have a beer, I'll be
right back.

'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he answered. 'I'm going to have a beer.'

'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

'Yes, Lollipop, But at the bar..You know..they have frozen glasses..'

'You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

'Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom cap s, and little quiches.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?

LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED AND YOUR ASS
ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?'

And..they lived happily ever after.